This Is Where I’d Put A Title
What the fuck
Why the f*** did nobody tell me that when you love someone, it makes your brain turn against you. (If this so not a shared experience, just pretend it is). Very in love for the first time ever and my little baby brain has been pretty overwhelmed. I almost never experienced anxiety before being in a relationship,, or at least I convinced myself I didn’t get anxious.... but now... now it gets hard to turn off my brain. I’m with someone that I want to be so completely honest with, that whenever I’m thinking something it’s just sits it’s heavy ass on the very front of my brain until I let it out, turning tiny little thoughts into little mental breakdowns. ALSO this sudden intense desire to be incredibly open and honest makes it so fucking hard to lie to yourself. Turns out lying to myself was a really easy way to pretend that I wasn’t carrying around years of trauma. I’m absolutely not as stable as I thought I was, which is probably better to realize now than in thirty years. Honestly my self realizations over the past 4 months are likely doing wonders in preventing me from becoming my father. So I guess I can give a shout out to anxiety for that. Anyways, love is fucking crazy and that’s the biggest cliche in the world but what the fuck. What the fuck.
05.11.21
Maybe I love LA
that’s all for now
03.22.21
super cool guy writing super cool words
oh hey whatsup its me
Not really sure what to plaster over this corner of the internet. Antonio (me) is very used to (addicted to) being perceived on other parts of the web, but he needs a fresh space. Tired of pretending to be multifaceted on Instagram (and pretending I didn't have to use spell check to write "multifaceted"). Time to pretend on here instead.
Maybe this can be like therapy. Not that I have much to compare. I've only ever been to therapy once (despite telling every bitch and their mother that "every bitch and their mother should go to therapy"). I would have gone back but she didn't have bangs and I convinced myself that I was doing all the work. ( sounds healthy 2 me ✨)
Thanks for reading, assuming you've read.
Stay tuned for some more mind dumps.